Shouldering the Blame
by Yummy-Kitty-Kat
Summary: Mudvayne's Chad Gray has left the band in search of his inner self, on a little hawaiian island called Moonacali. but what he finds there is far from what he expected and he realizes, he can stop shouldering the blame... Please read and review!


Why had such a successful rock star retired so early? No one would ever know but Chad Gray. Why he told the other band members he needed a break from the big time, hell he didn't even know. Maybe it was the constant rush, and being away from loved ones for so long, he didn't know. But what he did know was every since he was younger and growing up in a dust town in Illinois he had always cherished those little family getaways to the beaches of Laguna where his late uncle used to live. So what did the former rock star decide to do with his so called break, he packed up his whole 6,000 dollar a month apartment in downtown L.A. and moved to a little far away island in Hawaii, half way across the world from his struggles and stress points. Buying himself a large mansion size house, on the white beach of Moonacali; He was finally satisfied, and ready to start a new adventure in his life. A few weeks into his new house and his more relaxed lifestyle he was finally settled in.

"What the fuck do you expect Rick? My throat was trashing its self, you know I love music but I'm doing this for me, and for once I am not having second thoughts! Feel free to juice whatever little profit you can from merchandise and what not, I'm not saying that Mudvayne is over, and that I need to be replaced, I'm ONLY saying I need a fucking break…." Chad's voice strained as he lifted his half smoked cigarette to his lips and drew in another long drag of the burning tobacco before releasing it with a hasty blow.

"Chad I understand all of this, but you cant just up and leave the band that you started! How are the fans going to react? You canceled the rest of the Cross America tour, because you need a little getaway with yourself to some little shit hole island in fucking Hawaii!" The older mans voice drowned out as if someone had entered the room that he didn't want hearing his hectic conversation.

"Shut the fuck up! You know that I would NEVER hurt any of my fans and have ratings gone down since I left about a month and a half ago? NO THEY HAVENT! The other guys in the band are also off doing their own things, it isn't just me Rick, you're just fucking exaggerating this shit, when if I would have kept going on the tour I would have fucked up my voice to the point where I couldn't even sing anymore, being around this damp air and just relaxing for a while will help me….For fucks sake! You were once my best friend, don't let god damned business interrupt all that Mudvayne has accomplished as an out of the socket metal band! You know that it isn't over, once we come back it will be bigger than ever!" He let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his temples, the silver band rings on his right hand shone off of his thumb and ring finger.

A low groan of defeat moved out of Rick's throat and echoed loudly into the phone line. "Alright Chad…get some rest, but this summer, were going back to the top baby! Got it!"

Chad chuckled quietly and nodded. "Alright…later."

"Bye."

With that said Chad closed his cell phone and lay back in the Hammock he was currently relaxing in before his hectic phone call. Putting out his burnt up cigarette in the ashtray next to him he crossed his legs and looked out across the clear aqua blue ocean water and the white beaches that lead to it. The Hammock creaked quietly as Chad's chest heaved slowly in a sigh and he ran his fingers through his soft shaggy black hair that fell at his shoulders while his shady black goatee beard blew gently in the breeze. His long, tall, and wonderfully built body flexed pulling himself into total relaxation as he stretched his toes and fluttered his long eyelashes over his piercing blue eyes, blue enough to take your breath away.

"Damn managers…." He mumbled and swung in the hammock slowly, a half finished beer stuck in one of the holes next to his waist.

While his mind pondered he smoothed his hand over his bare chest and stopped above his ripped long hunter green shorts, covered in white sand and torn up slightly but still great shorts, his favorite actually. His bottle opener necklace lay flat against his tanned chest as his hand moved blindly down to the beer at his side before taking a long swig and laying back again in his comfort position. His sharp ears listened carefully for distractions while silver glares shone off of the three rings in his nose and in his eyebrow. Crowds and whistling could be heard in the distance, opening an amazingly blue eye he looked out across the distance and could see bright little dots over a huge aquarium. He had been hearing sounds from that aquarium since he moved there. He lazily swung his legs over the side of the wobbly and strangely comfortable net, standing up and leaving his spilled beer on the sand below while he walked up the short and shady walk in-between the large over hanging palm trees, around his large pool and hot tub and into the glass sliding door that lead to the bottom level of his house. The interior was obvious island design as well as the rest of his house, but the bottom level held the kitchen, dinning room, and living room where his huge flat screen TV was at, also his 3 huge leather couches. Now the second level was just inside gym, office, and sampling room, along with around 3 other empty bedrooms that no one stayed in. The third level was more empty bedrooms and also a sauna for after gym use and an in home theatre, but the Fourth and highest level was where his infamously large bedroom was, with his more that king-size bed. He figured a huge guy needed a huge bed right? He had a master bathroom and a wrap around balcony with a built in hot tub and a full view of the city lights and ocean at night as well as a fully stocked bar. That usually never stayed locked since he was always buzzed. Getting drunk for him was like an automatic release, since he had nothing other that his puppy Bud, a small English bulldog his mother had got him for a gag a few months ago, and then his stress reliever was alcohol.

His sandy feet moved across the silver and cream colored carpet to his golden sand colored couch before plopping down and lying back, turning on the TV he sighed and started to watch the moving screen until something caught his eye.

"Come to the most famous aquarium in all of Hawaii! The Shinning Shell of our island of Moonacali!" A scrawny man stood on the screen in an obviously to tight wetsuit as he turned and ran launching into the blue water of dolphins.

"Hmm…" Chad thought about the sounds he had been hearing lately and for once he actually wanted to get out of his huge sanctuary of a house and go see this place. Who knows, maybe he could make some real friends that didn't just want to be associated with him because of his fame and fortune.

Bud his small puppy came tripping around the corner, a clumsy puppy smile on his face. Chad laughed slightly and stood slowly, stretching his arms above his head and trudging to the hallway, grabbing an white surfing brand shirt off of the counter, pulling it on he grabbed his shoes and socks off the floor, slipping his socks on and tugging his black classic Converses on before kneeling down and tying them.

"Let's check this shit out!" He ruffled the soft fur on Bud's head and grabbed his sunglasses and hat, putting it on backwards before positioning his sunglasses over his eyes.

Chad jogged to the door, grabbing his car keys and walking out the door, locking it tightly behind his departure while the small tan pup sat at the glass and whimpered.

His large silver Chevy Z-71 sat in his driveway as it made a small sound unlocking the doors from the button Chad had pushed, jumping into the front seat and starting the roaring engine. Metal music blasted through the speakers as his foot punched the accelerator and he speeded down the concrete private road leading to and from his house. Looking through his sunglasses he eyed the road and pulled onto the highway gathering more speed on the hot black top.

Upon arrival he parked close to the entrance, stepping out of his large truck he could already smell the chlorine and salty water coming from the fish tanks inside. He moved strongly up the sidewalk as hundreds of people exited the park, maybe he was too late and it was already closing, oh well he'd try to get in anyways. He slipped inside the gates and walked around the curb to the large aquariums holding the dolphins and other sea animals. A woman's yelling voice caught his attention as he looked to the side and saw a woman standing near the edge of the pool bending over and feeding the begging dolphins frozen fish.

Chad stopped walking and lowered his glasses watching her closely; she wasn't yelling in panic, she was commanding the animals. Her long thick ash brown locks of hair whipped around her in the gentle breeze, the front two pieces were bleached a golden blonde.

Moving closer he knocked open the gate to the dolphin area to get an better look, until he was only a few feet away from her and there were standing face to face.

"Can I help you?" She smiled easy and genuinely standing up strait after patting the dolphins on the head gently, sending them off.

"Uh…yeah…" Where were his words? He thought they were gone forever until he finally regained his courage. "I'm new here and I heard this was a great Aquarium so I came to check it out…"

She tilted her head and her oceanic blue-green eyes warmed his insides and she giggled slowly, making his stomach jump.

"Well, I'm Kit." Reaching out her slender hand to shake his, he noticed her tan wrist was covered in beach charms and pooka shell bracelets. Shaking her hand back gently he smiled back taking his sunglasses off to stare her strait in the eyes, and he could almost bet any amount of money that she was more that smiling at him on a physical level.

"Chad….Chad Gray." He grinned and lifted his hat running a hand through his magnificently soft and wavy ebony black hair.

"Nice to meet you Chad Gray!" She laughed and moved swiftly pulling off her over shirt leaving her golden bronzed smooth skin more exposed in the damply wet lighter blue tank top she was wearing, along with her surfer shorts tied at the very last point of her hips.

His eyes memorized her every curve, as he inhaled her suntan lotion scent and watched her carelessly toss her aquarium shirt to the side.

"And nice to meet you Kit…" he smiled and leaned closer, getting a better looking into her marine eyes while awaiting her announcement of her last name.

"Nightsong!" She giggled and moved her head towards the door behind the diving board. "Would you like an after hours tour of the aquarium?" She laughed and tilted her head once more, her body bouncing slightly in excitement as her full breasts like two round perky paradises continuously drawing his eyes to them.

"I would love one!" He chuckled and moved up beside her, more of her wonderfully drawing aura pressing down on him.

"Alright…Chad, be happy cause I don't give many people tours after closing hours!" her laugh was easy and drawing he couldn't help but shiver inwardly as his lower bicep brushed her bare shoulder.

"I guess I'm just special then huh?" Pleasureous tingles formed on his body from the brief second their skin had touched.

"I believe that everyone new to Moonacali should get the locals deal!" That wonderful smile on her face was back as she reached out her slender tan arm and grasped the door knob with her long fingers curling around it her silver nails glinting in the setting sunlight, before she pulled it open and strolled slowly into the darkened hallway glowing with a turquoise light from the tanks above.

"You make it sound like your not originally from here…" He took the darkness as an opportunity to lean closer to her, inhaling her addicting scent once more.

"I'm not..." Fantastic smile once more. "I'm actually originally from Palm Beach, Florida. I moved here 3 years ago when I graduated marine psychology college."

"Ahh, so you're still young huh?" He internally smacked himself, what a dumb question!

"Yeah, I'm Twenty Four actually…" There came her spine tingling laugh. Thank god she wasn't mad at him, he probably would have broke down if he had lost his one chance…wait what was he thinking he just met this girl and was already obsessed. What the hell was wrong with him, maybe he should get out more. "What about you? Where did you come from?" Her blue optics shone at him through the dark, like an automatic truth serum.

"Actually, I just took a break from the band I was in… maybe you've heard of them, Mudvayne?" His heart jumped as she stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face him.

A relaxed and warm smile found its way onto her face as she patted his shoulder. "I thought you looked familiar…." She giggled and looked up at him. "So what went wrong?"

He inwardly sighed, for once since his fame someone was actually going to talk to him like a real person and not chase after him for autographs or pictures.

"Well, we've been doing it for a while now, 4 records, all Platinum, and I was on Tour about half a year ago when my doctor told me that the constant touring and screaming that I put into my vocals was thrashing my vocal chords, completely fucking them up. So I decided to take a break, and let's just say my manager did not approve…" He stopped for a moment and swallowed looking into her eyes. She was completely listening to him, nodding slightly and tilting her head listening to his every word. "But the other guys in the band figured everyone needed a break, I mean we did Tour for like 5 years strait, very-very little breaks…"

She nodded and bit her bottom lip gently as if she were thinking about his problem. Chad's inner beast yearned watching her nibble on her lip in that way but he inhaled deeply to control his urge. Why had such a woman done this to him so quickly? Hell he did not care either way.

"I think that you made the absolute right decision…" Her lips curved around her perfect white teeth as she smiled up at him. "You are looking out for the fans I mean, what's Mudvayne without the vocals? Getting away for a while is always great…but I think deep down your looking out for yourself and your fans…" She poked his chest playfully and never let the eased smile leave her pouty and plump lips.

Another warm and deep bark of laughter left Chad's mouth as they continued down the hall into the underground aquariums.

"You're actually the first person to every understand me and speak to me like a human being you know?" His eyes looked through the tanks at the hundreds of fish, sharks, and other small marine life, but his every other sense was on her.

"Really?" Her eyes followed up his body slowly and to his gorgeously relaxed face. To her he was beautiful. "Well, you seem like a very nice guy. So I'm only showing you the gratitude you've shown me!" Giggles fell over her lips as she strolled ahead, placing her hand on the glass and looking through, her hot breath making fog prints on the cool glass.

Chad's eyes moved towards her and his heart tugged at his chest with the need to touch her, to press his lips onto hers. He would give anything for her to feel for him the way that he felt for her. How he longed to circle her perfect waist with his arms and smile onto her lips as the kissed ever so passionately while he backed her against a wall and moved his hands lower down her….damn he better stop or he wouldn't be able to control himself.

"T-Thanks… So, you work here then. What do you do?" He moved towards her slowly. Her head turned to face him, there eyes meeting, and her lips curling once more.

"I actually train the dolphins and sharks, I also am a Veterinarian. I help these guys when they get sick…" She laughed and pressed her index finger to the glass pointing towards the numerous sea creatures staring back at her. He wondered if even they thought of her as a Goddess like he did.

"How can you train a shark?" He laughed and moved closer to her, leaning over her shoulder and looking into the turquoise glowing tanks.

"You can train sharks to do tons of things!" Her head turned and their eyes met. "Like…one of the things I train my sharks to do is for them to allow me to ride them…and Kai, our most famous Tiger Shark, I trained him and he can actually track a radio transmitter located over a mile away. He's amazing, one of the Aquariums biggest attractions!" She never took her eyes from his and smiled genuinely.

His eyes widened, this woman was amazing. "That's incredible! So you ride them huh? Are you the only one that they will allow to ride them…?" He watched her turn her head towards the aquarium as a school of rainbow and silver colored fish swam past, splashing worlds of colors on their faces and bodies.

"Actually yes…" Her hips moved slowly as she looked over her shoulder back at him, continuing to walk down the underwater hallway. "One of our former employees, Obie, tried and Tidus our largest great white ripped his legs to pieces….we almost couldn't save him…" her eyes saddened as if the memory hurt her and she turned her head more to the front. He would have moved to comfort her as he strolled behind her if the greenish water glow from the tanks had not made her look so breathtaking.

She cleared her throat after a moment and forced a smile. "But, he's still living and happy at that… only from now on, I am the only one that can, and permitted to ride any of our sharks."

"Oh…I see… where you close with him or something…?" He quickened his pace and placed his hand on her shoulder. His heart wrenched at the newly found thought…Did she already have a boyfriend…or a husband for that matter? He fought to keep back his sorrowful feelings threatening to overtake him.

"We were at one time…but now just great friends!" her warm smile washed every ounce of hurt in his body away as they both continued through the underground portion of the Aquarium.


End file.
